Managing Conversation

 

Managing Conversation

Many years back, in the early days of social networking, I send an email to a group of technical staff in the company where I used to work. The email was about some new changes in the processes and design of a mold. I hit “send” and prepared to move on to other tasks of the day.

Within about 15 minutes, a return email landed in my box. A relatively new employee in the technical department had replied to my email — with corrections. many, many corrections. It was marked with comments, suggestions, and references to other sources of information on the processes and design. He had torn the information in my email to pieces. 

For many corporate leaders, this would mark the end of the story (and possibly that employee’s career). This type of exchange, however, is a platform for continued conversation. Since the responder and I were both in the same location, but in different buildings, I took the opportunity to step away from my office and look for him. I found the employee working at his desk and walked right up to him. “How dare you?” I raised my voice. The man’s eye popped wide as he pondered whether he was about to get a warning for challenging one of the managers in the factory. I quickly put my arm around his shoulder to let him know I was kidding and sat down. “Tell me more about this,” I said. “Show me these references. Talk to me about what else is going on here”

That started the conversation. We talked most specifically about Facebook-how it was not just a toy for young people, but also a tool with substantial business potential. From there, we talked about the effect of social networking on business and how that platform was becoming more influential in the way customers make decisions. Finally, we brought it back to our own company and discussed what Facebook might mean for the business and the technical department one day. The conversation was the first of many in which this employee would participate and lead as we began a more aggressive effort in experimenting with social networking.

You can harness conversation not only to exchange viewpoints but also to move forward and make progress. By engaging this individual in conversation, I not only led him to understand how his input was needed and valued, but I also modeled for him a conversation method I then watched him carry forward independently.

How did it all happen in one conversation? Well, when I walked up and delivered my “How dare you” punch line, I did it with forethought. This is the tactic I use often. I play the disgruntled boss, pretending to be dismayed with an employee’s performance. I’ve done this enough around the factory that everyone who works there knows I’m kidding. I’m not such a great actor that if you heard me do this, you will be completely fooled. Usually, a new employee, hearing me deliver my lines for the first time, has a moment of panic. Oh, no! Is he really angry? It’s quickly apparent that I’m not and everyone has a little chuckle at the scene. The relief following a little shock like this paves way for a lighter, more honest relationship. 

Humor is a tremendous conversation starter. Much the same as a speaker will open with a joke. I open with the moment of play-acting. When you get some to smile, even laugh, you allow emotion to rise up to the surface. That is the perfect moment to engage in conversation. You have opened a pathway between yourself and the other individual, and you have begun a connection of warmth and friendship.

Many people are shuttered when they see the boss coming or sense a difficult conversation approaching. When I bring a little bit of humor to the moment, I break down that natural panic and replace it with a moment of emotional connection. When I then reach out to continue the conversation, it’s one in which both parties are already at ease. It is my way of setting up an exchange of ideas, rather than meaningless chatter. I’ve found that the smile itself produces a chain reaction. If I’m smiling and I can provoke another person to smile, that exchange is going to open our minds and set us both up for a genuine connection, rather than just one of the many chance encounters of a day in the factory.

That’s all for now, my friends. See you all in my next article.

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